In My Heart, I Want a Third Baby. But In My Head, I Know I Shouldn’t

Lately, I’ve found myself lingering a little longer during bedtime snuggles. I breathe in the scent of my baby’s hair, memorize the shape of my daughter’s hand in mine, and wonder—could this really be the last time I do this?

In my heart, I want a third baby. But in my head, I know I probably shouldn’t.

It’s a quiet inner tug-of-war I wasn’t expecting. I feel so lucky and full with the two children I have. They are my joy, my purpose, my chaos, my calm. But there’s a soft whisper that says there’s room for one more—one more heartbeat in our home, one more sibling in the mix, one more chapter in this beautiful, exhausting story.

The heart doesn’t weigh things the way the head does. It doesn’t budget for groceries or daycare. It doesn’t count hours of sleep or calculate maternity leave. It doesn’t worry about how much love we think we have to go around—it just feels that love could stretch infinitely.

But my head is louder lately.

It reminds me that our hands are already full. That I’m just starting to feel like me again—physically, emotionally, and there's still work to be done. That two kids already push me to my edge some days. That we’re working toward financial goals and building the life we’ve dreamed of, and another baby might put that further out of reach.

It’s not just logistics. It’s mental health. It’s marriage. It’s capacity. It’s trying to be the mom my kids deserve and the woman I want to be.

I know I’m not alone in this. So many moms live in this space—the in-between of enough and what if. Wondering whether we’re closing a chapter or if there’s one more page left to turn.

Sometimes I wish someone else would decide for me. That life would make the choice clear. But this? This is one of those heart vs. head moments that only I can navigate.

So for now, I’m holding both truths.

I’m savoring the sweetness of where we are. Letting the baby clothes go slowly. Leaving room for both gratitude andlonging. Knowing that not every desire needs to be acted on to be valid. That sometimes, love is also choosing what’s best for the family we already have.

And if you’re in this place too, mama—know that you’re not alone. Your heart can ache a little while your head leads with love and wisdom. It’s okay to want more, and still choose what’s right.

With you,

Rebecca